Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
