He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
