Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Houston, we have a squirter
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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