The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
