Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
