so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
