in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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