My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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