i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
