I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
