I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
