I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
