is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
