we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
