i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
