I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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