i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
