Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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