Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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