I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
