Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
