She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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