I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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