I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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