$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
