girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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