you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
