And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
false alarm. still invincible.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
