We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry about my life...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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