oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
