I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
