in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
