I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
