Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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