We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
