someone threw a dead crab at me
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
pray to the hookup gods
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize