If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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