Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
