yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sponge bath it is.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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