Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I forget how to act sober
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