just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
