Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
