How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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