Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Randomize
