chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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