dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
