Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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