Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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