Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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