Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
