dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
