bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
