and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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