I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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