My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
