Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
