Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
