Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
