my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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