i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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