I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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