yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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