I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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