I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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