i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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