Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
